People who eat food in tiny little hamster nibbles drive me nuts.
Especially with chocolate.
I am a complete chocolate addict. When I eat chocolate it’s like fireworks go off in my head and they’re made of massage chairs.
When I eat chocolate, I shove as much in my mouth as I possibly can.

People have made a habit out of telling me to slow the hell down and enjoy the chocolate by making it last longer.
Last time I checked, I enjoy chocolate more than any of these people giving me so called tips on how to enjoy my chocolate.

If you like dark chocolate, fine, take little hamster nibbles so you can “taste the nuance” or whatever it is you weirdos do.
But milk chocolate? The correct way to eat milk chocolate is to scarf down as much as possible in one bite so the flavor explodes and then gently massages the back of your eyes.

…

I have heard, on multiple occasions, that the way chocolate affects me might be just a little bit unusual.